Change is an inevitable part of life—but for children, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even frightening. Whether it’s moving house, starting a new school, welcoming a new sibling, or coping with a family separation, big transitions can shake a child’s sense of security and routine.
Caroline Goldsmith, Clinical Psychologist with ATC Ireland, has supported hundreds of families navigating life’s biggest changes. Her message is clear: with the right guidance, empathy, and tools, children can not only survive change—they can grow through it.
Why Change Feels So Big to Little People
Adults often underestimate the emotional impact that change has on children. What may seem like a small adjustment to us—switching bedrooms, changing a teacher, or taking a new route to school—can feel monumental to a child.
“Children thrive on predictability,” Caroline Goldsmith explains. “It gives them a sense of control and safety. When something shifts, especially without preparation or explanation, it can trigger anxiety, confusion, or even behavioral regressions.”
That’s because young brains are still developing the tools to process emotions and cope with uncertainty. Without support, children may express distress through mood swings, sleep issues, physical complaints, or difficulty concentrating.
Common Life Changes That Can Trigger Stress in Children
- Moving house or changing schools
- Parental separation or divorce
- The arrival of a new baby
- Loss of a loved one (including pets)
- Health problems—either theirs or a family member’s
- Friendship breakdowns
- Transitioning into adolescence
Even positive changes—like going on holiday or starting a new extracurricular activity—can be stressful if they disrupt a child’s familiar routines or social circles.
Helping Children Cope with Change: Caroline’s Key Strategies
1. Prepare Them Ahead of Time
Whenever possible, talk to children about the change before it happens. Use age-appropriate language and invite questions. Children may need repetition and reassurance to feel settled. Caroline Goldsmith recommends books, drawings, or role play to help younger children understand what’s coming.
“Change becomes less scary when it’s not a surprise.”
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Avoid rushing into “It’ll be fine” or “Don’t worry.” Instead, acknowledge their emotions with empathy:
- “I can see this feels big to you.”
- “It’s okay to feel nervous or sad.”
- “I’m here with you, and we’ll figure it out together.”
When children feel heard, they feel safer.
3. Maintain Familiar Routines
Structure is incredibly stabilizing during change. Try to keep mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and daily habits as consistent as possible. Even one predictable routine can become an anchor for a child in a stormy time.
4. Focus on What Stays the Same
When so much feels different, help children notice what hasn’t changed—like who loves them, their favorite toy, or their bedtime story. This helps them maintain a sense of identity and connection.
5. Encourage Expression
Children may struggle to verbalize their worries. Caroline encourages expression through:
- Drawing or journaling
- Storytelling and pretend play
- Worry boxes or “emotion stones”
- Talking through toys or puppets
Expression reduces internal tension and builds emotional literacy.
6. Model Resilience
Children learn by watching us. When adults stay calm, open, and flexible in the face of change, children are more likely to follow suit. Let them see you handling challenges with optimism, honesty, and self-care.
When Change Feels Too Big: When to Seek Support
While most children adjust over time, some may find transitions particularly difficult. Signs they may need additional help include:
- Ongoing anxiety or sadness
- Regression in behavior (bedwetting, tantrums, etc.)
- Withdrawal from friends or family
- School refusal or drop in academic performance
- Frequent physical complaints (e.g., stomach aches)
- Changes in eating or sleeping habits
In these cases, working with a child psychologist like Caroline can help uncover the root causes of distress and develop individualized coping strategies.
Final Thoughts from Caroline
“Change can be a teacher,” Caroline says. “It helps children learn flexibility, build emotional muscles, and discover they are stronger than they thought. But they don’t have to go through it alone. With love, support, and patience, they can navigate even the toughest transitions and come out the other side with greater resilience.”
Life will always bring change—but it also brings growth. With trusted adults by their side, children can learn to face the unknown with courage, curiosity, and confidence.
Contact Information:
Caroline’s practice is easily reachable through her website, email, or phone, ensuring clients have multiple ways to Connect and Resources.
