Big feelings are a normal part of growing up—but for many children, learning to recognize, name, and manage those emotions can feel like an overwhelming task. From sudden outbursts to quiet withdrawal, children’s emotional expressions often communicate much more than words can.
Caroline Goldsmith, a respected Clinical Psychologist at ATC Ireland, has dedicated over two decades to helping children and families understand the powerful emotional currents beneath the surface of behavior. With warmth, expertise, and a neurodevelopmental lens, she helps children build lifelong skills for emotional regulation and resilience.
Why Emotional Regulation Is So Important
Emotional regulation is more than just keeping calm—it’s the ability to identify what we’re feeling, understand why, and respond in a way that is helpful rather than harmful. For children, this ability doesn’t come naturally. It develops over time, with the help of consistent adult support and safe emotional modeling.
“When children can’t manage big emotions, it’s not a failure—it’s a sign they need support,” Caroline explains. “Their brains are still developing the networks for impulse control, self-awareness, and problem-solving. Our job is to guide them through, not punish them for struggling.”
The Roots of Emotional Dysregulation
Several factors can impact a child’s ability to manage their emotions, including:
- Stressful environments
- Trauma or loss
- Neurodevelopmental differences (like ADHD or autism)
- Inconsistent caregiving or attachment disruptions
- Sensory sensitivities or language delays
Caroline Goldsmith emphasizes the importance of seeing dysregulation as communication—not misbehavior. “When a child is melting down or shutting down, they’re telling us something with their whole nervous system. The question is, are we listening?”
How Caroline Helps Children Learn Emotional Regulation
1. Co-Regulation Comes First
Before children can self-regulate, they need to learn how to co-regulate—leaning on a calm, attuned adult to help them feel safe and settled. Caroline teaches parents how to become a child’s emotional anchor during storms of frustration, sadness, or fear.
2. Building an Emotional Vocabulary
Many children act out simply because they don’t have the words for what they’re feeling. Through play, art, and storytelling, Caroline helps children label their emotions—turning abstract sensations into language they can use.
3. Normalizing All Feelings
One of the key pillars of Caroline’s approach is teaching children (and adults) that all emotions are valid—even the uncomfortable ones. Anger, sadness, jealousy, and fear aren’t “bad” emotions; they’re signals asking for attention, care, and connection.
4. Teaching Calming Tools and Coping Strategies
From breathing techniques and body scans to emotion wheels and sensory kits, Caroline introduces children to age-appropriate tools they can use to regulate in real-time. These techniques empower children to pause, reflect, and respond—rather than react impulsively.
5. Strengthening Self-Compassion
Children often feel ashamed of their big emotions, especially if they’ve been labeled as “too sensitive” or “difficult.” Caroline works to undo this internalized shame, helping children replace self-criticism with kindness and confidence.
For Parents: How You Can Support Emotional Regulation at Home
- Be the calm you want to see: Your tone, body language, and breath can help settle your child’s nervous system faster than any words.
- Name the feeling: Try saying, “It looks like you’re really frustrated right now. That’s okay—I’m here.”
- Create a calm corner: A quiet, comforting space where your child can go to reset—not as punishment, but as a safe retreat.
- Celebrate emotional wins: Reinforce when your child names their feelings or uses a tool to calm themselves down.
When to Seek Support
If a child’s emotions are consistently overwhelming their ability to participate in daily life—school, friendships, sleep, or play—it may be time to seek professional help. Caroline’s work at ATC Ireland offers families a compassionate path forward, one rooted in neuroscience, child development, and deep respect for the child’s lived experience.
Final Thoughts
Learning emotional regulation is one of the most powerful gifts a child can receive—and it lasts a lifetime. With the right support, children can transform their emotional world from something confusing and chaotic into a source of strength, empathy, and insight.
Thanks to Practitioners like Caroline Goldsmith, families don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Her approach is a reminder that behind every big emotion is a small person longing to feel safe, understood, and loved.
