Self-doubt can quietly take root in childhood—disguised as hesitation, fear of failure, or the haunting thought: “I’m not good enough.” Left unaddressed, it can dim a child’s sense of potential and prevent them from embracing challenges, trying new things, or trusting their own voice.
Caroline Goldsmith, Clinical Psychologist at ATC Ireland, has worked extensively with children who struggle with low confidence and self-criticism. Through compassionate, evidence-based support, she helps children rewrite their internal narrative and learn to see themselves as capable, resilient, and worthy.
“Children aren’t born doubting themselves,” Caroline says. “Self-doubt is something they learn—and that means it can be unlearned, too.”
Understanding Self-Doubt in Children
Self-doubt in children often presents itself in subtle ways:
- Avoiding challenges (“I can’t do it.”)
- Fear of getting things wrong
- Seeking constant reassurance
- Comparing themselves to others
- Being overly critical of their efforts
- Withdrawing from activities they used to enjoy
It can stem from many sources—past failures, negative feedback, perfectionism, peer pressure, or even high parental expectations. Over time, these experiences can build a persistent inner voice that says, “Don’t try—you’ll just mess it up.”
Caroline Goldsmith stresses that when self-doubt goes unchecked, it can affect not only academic performance, but also mental health, friendships, and long-term self-esteem.
Helping Children Build Self-Belief: Caroline’s Key Strategies
1. Catch the Inner Critic
One of the first steps is helping children notice the way they talk to themselves. Caroline Goldsmith encourages adults to listen for signs of harsh self-talk and gently challenge it.
Instead of:
“I’m terrible at this.”
Help them reframe:
“This is tricky right now, but I’m learning.”
Teaching children that thoughts aren’t facts—and that they can talk back to their inner critic—is a powerful emotional tool.
2. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcome
Many children equate success with perfection. Caroline Goldsmith recommends praising persistence, creativity, and courage instead of just results.
Try:
- “You worked so hard on that puzzle, even when it got frustrating.”
- “I’m proud of you for trying something new.”
- “You didn’t give up—that’s brave.”
This builds what psychologists call a growth mindset—the belief that ability grows through effort and experience.
3. Model Self-Compassion
Children mirror what they see. Caroline urges caregivers to be mindful of how they talk about themselves, especially in moments of failure.
Instead of:
“I’m so stupid—I forgot again!”
Try:
“Oops, I made a mistake. Everyone does sometimes. I’ll try a different way next time.”
This teaches children that mistakes aren’t shameful—they’re human.
4. Break Big Goals Into Small Steps
Self-doubt thrives when tasks feel overwhelming. Caroline teaches children how to break goals into bite-sized chunks, so success feels possible and achievable.
For example:
- Instead of “Write a whole story,” start with “Think of a character.”
- Instead of “Make new friends,” try “Say hi to one person today.”
These small wins build confidence and reduce fear of failure.
5. Use Visual Tools for Confidence
Caroline often uses creative techniques like:
- Confidence jars (where children add notes about things they’ve done well)
- Bravery charts (tracking times they’ve tried something scary)
- Affirmation cards (daily reminders of their strengths)
These tools help children see their progress and retrain their self-image over time.
When to Seek Additional Support
Some children struggle with deep or persistent self-doubt that begins to impact their daily life. If your child:
- Refuses to try new things due to fear of failure
- Is constantly down on themselves, even after success
- Seems anxious, withdrawn, or avoids social settings
- Shows signs of low mood or loss of interest in things they once enjoyed
…it may be time to reach out for professional support. A psychologist like Caroline can help identify underlying issues—such as anxiety, perfectionism, or learning differences—and develop a personalized support plan.
Final Words from Caroline
“Self-belief is one of the greatest protective factors we can give a child,” Caroline says. “When a child learns to trust themselves, they stop being afraid of failing and start being curious about what they’re capable of. That’s when real growth happens.”
Helping children overcome self-doubt isn’t about making them perfect—it’s about helping them feel enough just as they are. With the right encouragement, they can learn to take up space in the world with confidence, resilience, and joy.
Contact Information:
Caroline’s practice is easily reachable through her website, email, or phone, ensuring clients have multiple ways to Connect and Resources.
